I hope you had a nice turn of the year. All the best for 2022!
Maybe your thoughts are on New Year’s resolutions. The good wishes for the new year were at some point turned into jobs for themselves.
From the new year everything will be different. What sounds logical and positive at first, unfortunately, often turns into pressure and stress and a guilty conscience. Especially when we fail to keep our resolutions and start to doubt ourselves.
The Resolutions will work now because we are determined to put them into practice this time. Our willpower is required and is put to the test. Our minds think up all possible ways how things will go better this time than before. Perseverance is the order of the day, supposedly it will be easier at some point. As soon as we then default, we evaluate this wrongdoing and we feel bad. Maybe we can make a second attempt before we break our own rules again and as a result, we judge ourselves harder and harder. All kinds of sentences that I have often thought about start: “That was clear, what was I expecting. I just can’t do it, I’m not suitable for it. I can’t hold out even the simplest of resolutions! ” And so forth. The result is a bad feeling, the mood is down. The longer we deal with the topic at this level, the further it goes down. Exactly the opposite of what we originally had in mind full of joy has occurred.
What happened? Why do so many New Years and other resolutions fail?
We want to make a change with willpower and forget that we function very differently. New behaviors are difficult to learn. Especially when we no longer allow ourselves the playful approach of trying and failing.
How can we then implement our resolutions?
By understanding what makes us tick and by making a change happen in us. On this basis, we no longer negotiate with our inner weaker self. We then just do it. Or we don’t. And both are ok. Depending on what our inner compass tells us. We drop all judgments and doubts and self-abuse and are kind to ourselves. If we really want the change, one day we will implement it.
The 3 principles explain in a simple and understandable way how we humans function. They are the basis of the transformative coaching approach I work with. Books and podcasts can be a first introduction to the 3 principles. I regularly make recommendations on this topic on my social media channels. In coaching we get to the bottom of these questions. The goal is always that we can face life simply with this new understanding.